juliet: (Default)
So last week (or the week before; whichever) I decided that I was going to REST in November. (Where "in November" is defined as "in the bits of November which are not Leon-days and when I do not already have commitments, i.e. only actually about 8 days in total.)

My observations so far:

  • I am not all that good at resting. I keep thinking "right, so what am I going to DO today? what is my GOAL? what do I want to ACHIEVE?" and then having to remind myself that what I am DOING today is nothing.

  • I am really not all that good at resting. My idea of 'doing nothing' is only spending an hour or so doing ticky-box useful things, and then the rest of the time knitting. And reading, which ought to count, except I keep finding myself reading things off the 'I really must read this' pile rather than just fun things. OK, sometimes the IRMRT pile contains unexpectedly fun things (if they were truly expectedly fun I would have read them already; they tend to be things that I might be pleased to have read but are not necessarily restful). But still. I mean, I do like knitting! But I find it curious that it is so difficult not to do something that I clock as 'vaguely useful'.

  • Having said all of that, I have had a couple of naps in the last fortnight, which were great! And I have done enjoyable reading and knitting rather than (mostly) hurtling around the place with the mile-long to-do list, so we will count this as a win.

  • When I have sat down for an hour with the to-do list, the enjoyment of crossing things off the list has been significantly higher than usual, which I found fascinating. Possibly partly because I was limiting the time I was going to spend doing it? Rather than having a whole day (and more...) of ticky-box tasks stretching ahead of me.

  • I do, overall, feel better than I did when I made the decision.

  • I do need to rethink what I'm trying to fit into my normal life at the moment. I have done some provisional thinking on this and will continue to contemplate it next week.

  • I have also done some writing just because I wanted to, which is an improvement on last month when it was all about ticking things off. This was pleasing. Long may it continue. (The interesting thing is finding the balance between the self-discipline of 'show up and write'; the feeling of 'I want to do this and am enjoying the process' (where 'enjoying' also covers 'this is hard work and exhausting but satisfying'); and the bit where you just need to keep on plugging.



Further updates at the end of the month, if I think of any.
juliet: (waveform tree)
Things done in last fortnight: Climate Camp (part of site setup team); job interview (<2 hrs after getting into Kings Cross after Climate Camp; but I got the job![0]); two deadlines (or was it three?); visit to [livejournal.com profile] angelmine in Southampton; LED Festival for a couple of hours to see Leftfield (v good!); two days at BiCon (thus breaking my 6-yr refusal to return after interpersonal chaos -- not the fault of BiCon itself in any way -- experienced last time it was in London).

Perhaps it is not surprising that I am feeling a bit wrung out now.

Yesterday at BiCon was much fun -- went to a workshop, had interesting conversations with assorted lovely people on many topics (including RADICALISM, hurrah), ate CURRY, danced a fair bit, went to a most enjoyable party, generally had awesome time. Did have a minor meltdown on getting back to Bermondsey, but [personal profile] doop is very good at providing tea, toast, and hugs in this situation. Sleep also good.

Climate Camp went very well indeed, btw! Site went up on time, site came down on time, in between there were workshops & actions. Success! The likelihood of me doing any kind of writeup is very close to zero; I commend to you the blog for your Climate Camp writeup needs (or the @climatecamp Twitter feed).

Really I could do with taking about a week off now & SLEEPING, or possibly lying on the sofa watching trashy SF and knitting. Instead I am riding tandems round Earlsfield for 3 days this week (an arts project thing which will be performing in Trafalgar Sq on Saturday afternoon, if anyone wants to come and see it), and starting $newjob next week. Good. Yes. (Help.)

[0] Back at CTUK for a few months doing maternity cover for a part-time admin role.

June 2017

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