returning to the scene of your crimes....
Mar. 14th, 2003 10:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
julietSo: a couple of really good days, & a couple of really quite bad ones.
Got to Oxford about 7.30pm Tuesday, & caught up with Rich, Cathy, & Ian at Cathy & Ian's place by Folly Bridge. Where they fed me half of Richard's plate of pasta & a sandwich of what was intended by Ian to be hummous, but he'd missed out the garlic & tahini, thus was just mashed chickpeas with lemon juice. Tasted tolerable, though, especially when hungry. Then off to the PUB for a few drinks, where we randomly ran into Rick - not seen him in ages. That was cool.
Made it to Boutique around 10.30 - not many people there, but![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
beingjdc & Kat & other nice friendly people, hurrah (it got a lot more crowded later). Cathy, Ian, & Rich all impressed with both venue & club. As indeed was I (well, I've been to the venue before, but not to Boutique, & 'twas ace, once people got dancing). Many people dancing on pole, hussies the lot of 'em :-)
Bit hungover the next day, though thankfully Rich didn't insist on me leaving when he did for work, so I was able to sleep in a bit more before going into town to catch up with J-P, Henry, Abi & Glyn for coffee in Merton MCR. Then the DPhil types had to go sweat some more over writing up, so I went off to find jdc at Hilda's for the no-men-in-Hilda's protest (they won). Spent the afternoon debating our setlist for the evening & being generally silly. Took Rich out to Ask (yes, I am a cheapskate, why do you ask?) for dinner, then the Chequers for several double vodkas, before wending my way Panic-wards.
Yay Panic! Bloody top night. jdc's & my set was truly brilliant, of course. I took over the actual-physical-DJing duties, & made nary an error, which pleased me enormously given that I haven't DJed since last summer (I know indie DJing isn't *difficult* like dance-type DJing, but you still need to get the mixes right). Also other people said it was a good set, & there was generally dancing going on. Want to DJ more now. Other people's sets also good - much general musical fun stuff. Kat was nice & gave me fags. Abi was nice & told me that they miss me. My esteemed brother & fellow-DJ was lovely as always :-) Chatted for ages to Mini-Pete aka Bunni aka James aka half-a-dozen other things, it seems (looks like my Pete when he was 19. Except that my Pete never wore pink fishnets, a pink miniskirt, a pink skinny top with black spiderwebs in, & a purple wig; or not to the best of my knowledge, anyway). Which was the first time I'd talked to him beyond saying "You look like Pete!" & thereby cursing him with the name "Mini-Pete"; & v nice he is too. And I met Het, of-whom-I-had-heard (& indeed snogged her, as she is attempting to stay ahead of Kat). And OULC-types were there, & David S, & other nice people. And it was all very good.
And then there was the coach home (though at least I got kept company at the bus-stop), and that was not so good.
And then there was the last couple of days, which have been a bit shitty. I think it's a combination of things. Partly it's come-down from highly fun Oxford-time; partly lack of sleep over last 2 weeks (Great Malvern meant no weekend lie-in); partly excess of alcohol over last 2 weeks or so. But also an onset of paranoia-attack, in the "everybody hates me & I'm rubbish" sort of way. This tends to attack when I meet up with new people (or people I don't know so well, though a bit less so then), & I think it was triggered this time by seeing some folk I'd not seen in ages, & some folk I'd hardly spoken to previously at all, in Oxford. Today was particularly horrible (& thus of course I got very little done at work, which made me feel even more useless). But having ranted at reasonable length at a couple of people, & at enormous length in private-file-elsewhere; I am now feeling better, which is good.
But I hate feeling like that. It's so ridiculously illogical - I mean, broadly, if people are nice to you, then it's probably because they're nice & they like you, not because they're pretending for some obscure reason, right? Why would they bother? (but then the illogical paranoid part of my head says "because they're nice! so they don't want to upset you by being rude!" or something similar). It's pretty self-centred, as well, to assume that people would be bothered (like thinking that people are laughing at you behind your back or whatever; why would they bother?) But there we go. Paranoia accepts no logical reasons, though today it seems that listing the illogicalities at length has finally battered them back down; being at home, eating nice dinner, & having space-alone may also have helped. Hopefully this was genuine success, anyway, & not merely a brief respite. This sort of angst rarely lasts at this sort of level for more than a couple of days, for me, though low-level it lasts longer sometimes.
Anyway. For the record,beingjdc's CD (see "music" line) is indeed proving ace, as per expectations. Yay. And wintrmute is on his way over for sofa-vegetating. And Storm had her operation today (tumour-wound turned into enormous abcess) & seems fine despite HUGE wound across her side. So those are all good things.
Got to Oxford about 7.30pm Tuesday, & caught up with Rich, Cathy, & Ian at Cathy & Ian's place by Folly Bridge. Where they fed me half of Richard's plate of pasta & a sandwich of what was intended by Ian to be hummous, but he'd missed out the garlic & tahini, thus was just mashed chickpeas with lemon juice. Tasted tolerable, though, especially when hungry. Then off to the PUB for a few drinks, where we randomly ran into Rick - not seen him in ages. That was cool.
Made it to Boutique around 10.30 - not many people there, but
beingjdc & Kat & other nice friendly people, hurrah (it got a lot more crowded later). Cathy, Ian, & Rich all impressed with both venue & club. As indeed was I (well, I've been to the venue before, but not to Boutique, & 'twas ace, once people got dancing). Many people dancing on pole, hussies the lot of 'em :-)Bit hungover the next day, though thankfully Rich didn't insist on me leaving when he did for work, so I was able to sleep in a bit more before going into town to catch up with J-P, Henry, Abi & Glyn for coffee in Merton MCR. Then the DPhil types had to go sweat some more over writing up, so I went off to find jdc at Hilda's for the no-men-in-Hilda's protest (they won). Spent the afternoon debating our setlist for the evening & being generally silly. Took Rich out to Ask (yes, I am a cheapskate, why do you ask?) for dinner, then the Chequers for several double vodkas, before wending my way Panic-wards.
Yay Panic! Bloody top night. jdc's & my set was truly brilliant, of course. I took over the actual-physical-DJing duties, & made nary an error, which pleased me enormously given that I haven't DJed since last summer (I know indie DJing isn't *difficult* like dance-type DJing, but you still need to get the mixes right). Also other people said it was a good set, & there was generally dancing going on. Want to DJ more now. Other people's sets also good - much general musical fun stuff. Kat was nice & gave me fags. Abi was nice & told me that they miss me. My esteemed brother & fellow-DJ was lovely as always :-) Chatted for ages to Mini-Pete aka Bunni aka James aka half-a-dozen other things, it seems (looks like my Pete when he was 19. Except that my Pete never wore pink fishnets, a pink miniskirt, a pink skinny top with black spiderwebs in, & a purple wig; or not to the best of my knowledge, anyway). Which was the first time I'd talked to him beyond saying "You look like Pete!" & thereby cursing him with the name "Mini-Pete"; & v nice he is too. And I met Het, of-whom-I-had-heard (& indeed snogged her, as she is attempting to stay ahead of Kat). And OULC-types were there, & David S, & other nice people. And it was all very good.
And then there was the coach home (though at least I got kept company at the bus-stop), and that was not so good.
And then there was the last couple of days, which have been a bit shitty. I think it's a combination of things. Partly it's come-down from highly fun Oxford-time; partly lack of sleep over last 2 weeks (Great Malvern meant no weekend lie-in); partly excess of alcohol over last 2 weeks or so. But also an onset of paranoia-attack, in the "everybody hates me & I'm rubbish" sort of way. This tends to attack when I meet up with new people (or people I don't know so well, though a bit less so then), & I think it was triggered this time by seeing some folk I'd not seen in ages, & some folk I'd hardly spoken to previously at all, in Oxford. Today was particularly horrible (& thus of course I got very little done at work, which made me feel even more useless). But having ranted at reasonable length at a couple of people, & at enormous length in private-file-elsewhere; I am now feeling better, which is good.
But I hate feeling like that. It's so ridiculously illogical - I mean, broadly, if people are nice to you, then it's probably because they're nice & they like you, not because they're pretending for some obscure reason, right? Why would they bother? (but then the illogical paranoid part of my head says "because they're nice! so they don't want to upset you by being rude!" or something similar). It's pretty self-centred, as well, to assume that people would be bothered (like thinking that people are laughing at you behind your back or whatever; why would they bother?) But there we go. Paranoia accepts no logical reasons, though today it seems that listing the illogicalities at length has finally battered them back down; being at home, eating nice dinner, & having space-alone may also have helped. Hopefully this was genuine success, anyway, & not merely a brief respite. This sort of angst rarely lasts at this sort of level for more than a couple of days, for me, though low-level it lasts longer sometimes.
Anyway. For the record,
beingjdc's CD (see "music" line) is indeed proving ace, as per expectations. Yay. And wintrmute is on his way over for sofa-vegetating. And Storm had her operation today (tumour-wound turned into enormous abcess) & seems fine despite HUGE wound across her side. So those are all good things.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-03-14 07:04 pm (UTC)For the record, you're one of not many people that I don't think I've ever heard *anyone* bitch about behind their back. Though perhaps they probably wouldn't to me anyway, what with you being my sister and all. Doesn't usually stop people with my other friends.
no subject
Date: 2003-03-15 06:47 am (UTC)> what's on it now, it all seems so long ago.
After a great deal of kerfuffling with nasty Windows machine (no working soundcard on Linux box):
01 - The Art Of Driving.mp3
07. Automatic lover.mp3
11 - The Last Will and Testament of Jake Thakray.mp3
American_Friend.mp3
Anti Nowhere League - Long Live Punk.mp3
Aphex Twin & Cocteau Twins - Let My Fish Loose.mp3
Ataris - My So Called Life.mp3
Cheryl Wheeler - Is it Peace or Is it Prozac- (1).mp3
Christy Moore - Wicca - .mp3
Elf Power - Jane.mp3
Elf Power - The Sun is Forever.mp3
Fall - Victoria .mp3
FischerSpooner - natural disaster.mp3
Fischerspooner - Emerge.mp3
Flogging Molly - Devil's Dance Floor.mp3
Hawksley Workman - What A Woman.mp3
Hawksley Workman - NEW - Jealous Of Your Cigarette.MP3
Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros - Mondo Bongo.mp3
Joe_Strummer_And_The_Mescaleros-Global_A_Go_G0-01-Johnny_Appleseed.mp3
Joe_Strummer_And_The_Mescaleros-Road_to_Rock_N_Roll.mp3
Ladytron - 02 - Seventeen.mp3
Ladytron - 604 - 01 - Mu-tron.mp3
Ladytron - 604 - 02 - Discotrax (2).mp3
Les Rythmes Digitales - Jacques Your Body (Make Me Sweat).mp3
MXPX - TeenagePolitics.mp3
Miss Kitten feat. Golden Boy - Rippin Kittin.mp3
Momus - Tamagotchi Press Officer.mp3
Momus - The Penis Song.mp3
My Bloody Valentine - Loveless - 07 - Come In Alone.mp3
My Bloody Valentine - Only Shallow.mp3
Pretty Girls Make Graves- The Alcohol Diary.mp3
Ramones - Rockaway Beach.mp3
Ramones - Sheena Is A Punk Rocker.mp3
The Auteurs - The South Will Rise Again.mp3
The Castleford Ladies Magic Circle.mp3
The Toy Dolls - Nelly The Elephant.mp3
They Might Be Giants - The Sun is a Mass of Incandescent Gas.mp3
Thursday - How Long Is The Night.mp3
Thursday - Paris In Flames.mp3
XXmusic_for_girls.mp3
XXswitzerland.mp3
Young Dubliners Foggy Dew.mp3
baxendale - The New Parisienne pop and soul.mp3
baxendale - The Nineteen Sixties.mp3
baxendale - bank_holidays in the sun.mp3
black box recorder - kidnapping an heiress.mp3
black47 live Different Drummer.mp3
christy moore - back home in derry.mp3
cocteau twins - pink orange red.mp3
cornelius - 2010.mp3
drop kick murphys - firestarter.mp3
elf power - Embrace The Crimson Tide.mp3
figurine - Can't Help Me Now.mp3
figurine - The European Beauty.mp3
interpol - Roland.mp3
les rhythmes digitales - from disco to disco.mp3
les rythmes digitales - hypnotise.mp3
momus - Finnegan the Folk Hero.mp3
momus - I Was a Maoist Intellectual.mp3
momus - The Hairstyle of the Devil.mp3
momus_-_Folk_Me_Amadeus.mp3
mxpx - can i call you sweetheart.mp3
mxpx - do your feet hurt.mp3
my bloody valentine - strawberry wine.mp3
pete yorn - Panic (acoustic Smiths cover).mp3
pretty girls make graves - If You Hate Your Friends, You're Not Alone.mp3
rilo kiley - Rest of my Life.mp3
rilo kiley - Teenage Love Song.mp3
stereo total - nationale 7.mp3
the wildhearts - My Baby Is A Headfuck.mp3
the wildhearts - greetings from shitsville.mp3
various artists - Ten Years Asleep - KINGMAKER.mp3
All v fine
Thanks for the reassurance, also. *hug*
no subject
Date: 2003-03-15 08:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-03-15 12:20 pm (UTC)> it's probably because they're nice & they like
> you, not because they're pretending for some
> obscure reason, right?
Well, yeah. :)
And we do miss you, you know. 'Cause you're great.
Abi.
no subject
Date: 2003-03-15 03:40 pm (UTC)