Pregnancy musings: 18 wks

[juliet]

I wish to note, primarily for my own reference/records, that a significant chunk of the first 12 weeks of being pregnant was really pretty unpleasant. From the end of week 5 to about the end of week 11 I was nauseous basically all the time I was upright and awake, and for a good fortnight or so in the middle of that I was subsisting on plain pasta, potatoes, toast & Marmite, and Rice Krispies. Oh, and salt & pepper tofu. I didn't actually throw up all that often, but I *felt* sick all the damn time. Which is knackering and depressing in & of itself, and also I was exhausted as well as that. None of the things that are supposed to help did (just led to me going off crackers, ginger, peppermint tea, and everything else I tried; thank god potatoes didn't abandon me), except eating regularly, which didn't actually make me feel any better, just stopped me from feeling worse. One has a tendency, as time passes, to forget the full unpleasantness of unpleasant things, hence my wish to record this while I still remember it. Not. Fun. At. All.

Happily, that wore off more or less bang on time, just shy of 12 weeks, at least mostly - the strenuous reaction to anything sugary lasted until a week or so ago. (Sugar still disagrees with me, but it's back to being a mental-wellbeing type disagreement rather than a physical one.) And, in fact, at 18 weeks I am feeling pretty good. I'm back to climbing again, also cycling (never exactly stopped cycling, just stopped wanting to do anything or go anywhere at all), also going out DANCING, and though I'm still more tired than I might otherwise be, it's entirely manageable. So that's all good. I am starting to notice a shift in my centred of gravity, though; or rather, an odd feeling when I'm walking, of having *extra, slightly heavy, stuff* sticking out from my pelvis. Which, you know, there is; although it doesn't really show yet unless you know it's there. There's intermittent achiness in the general stomach area, too, I guess as things start to stretch. A couple of times I've suddenly found my ankles feeling more wobbly, but each time I've adjusted quite quickly to what I assume is to do with ligaments relaxing. (The first time, at about 13 weeks, was kind of scary, though, especially as I got v dizzy to go along with it, and was quite worn out anyway at the time.)

I started feeling the foetus move about 10 days ago. Initially it wasn't even something I'd call a sensation; just a strange internal feeling, not even of discomfort, just oddness. Then it was little fluttery bubbly sensations. Now it's progressing to something that feels more like (gentle) kicking and is more clearly an independent entity moving around inside me. I love the word "quickening".

Several other women I know who have children have commented about worrying a lot during their pregnancies. Curiously, I have found myself worrying barely at all. I mean, the odd moment of concern here and there, but nothing as dramatic as other people have described. I am a bit baffled by this. I mean, I still worry about *other* things, so it's not like I've finally reached some kind of ideal state of beatific Zen detachment. Sadly. I have three current theories about this:
1. I am in some relevant sense UNNATURAL (entirely possible; uon has been far more emotional about the whole thing thus far than I have).
2. It's hormones, and therefore will change/wear off at some point. Probably about an hour after I post this, I expect.
3. Listening to the natal hypnotherapy CD when being angelmine's birth partner had more of an effect on me than I realised at the time.
Anyway, uon informs me that he is worrying plenty for both of us, so that's OK. Perhaps he should listen to the nice soothing CD.

Finally, a list of musical experiences attended so far by Mab-the-foetus in utero:
- Glastonbury (albeit as a blastocyte, which may not count).
- Son Kite (sadly not at their best).
- Lots of hippy singing/chanting at the EAT course (by the end of which it could apparently sense sounds, at least ones made by me).
- Awesome & v select party at the end of the EAT course DJed by some of the ex-Reclaim the Streets people (old skool!).
- Stay Up Forever 20th birthday night - lovely crusty acid techno.
- V fine psytrance this weekend courtesy of Logic Bomb and some other DJ who was on after them.

Upcoming things for which I have tickets: PWEI, & Billy Bragg supported by Akela. Hurrah.

The other thing I've found interesting is that in general I'm doing better at looking after myself than I usually do. It's not exactly that I need anything much more or different in that line (largely it's just my customary physical/mental issues writ slightly larger); but what is true is that there's less slack in the system. If I push myself past feeling tired, I can't just let myself get exhausted, work through it, and then catch up in a couple of days. Instead, I'll throw up. There's more incentive to pay attention, I guess. I think this may qualify as some kind of Useful Learning Experience, because I think I'm benefitting from it.

(On which note, I should go to bed.)

Comments

[adjectivegail]

Wooo! Congratulations to you all :D

[adjectivegail]

...okay, I don't quite know how I managed to completely miss your 'proper' announcement post. I'm glad the nausea's passed at least - I didn't have it All The Time but certainly had it enough to get quite tired of it (mind you, that happened rather rapidly). I think the weirdest thing about my first 4 months of pregnancy was that I started eating cheese. I mean, I've always been happy to have say cheesy pasta bake or similar, but that's about my cheese limit and certainly no more than maybe twice a week. Until somewhere around 10-16 weeks or so when i was going to the fridge and cutting a lump of parmesan or cheddar off the block and just eating it straight. And then often going back for a second chunk.

That was one of the things that really made me feel that being pregnant is a rather parasitic relationship - and then I'd mention it to people and they'd chalk it up to the crazy hormones and start edging away, wide eyed...

Quickening is wonderful. Enjoy it, towards the end for me it was less fun and more OW STOP NOW. But I did love that he could be relied upon to move at fairly consistent times of day. And sometimes I'd be sitting in meetings ostensibly paying attention but actually with my attention turned inward to what the little wriggler was doing inside :-)

I loved that Alex clearly could hear and respond to music while in the womb, but I could never decide whether he was responding because he loved it or because he hated it! It really worried me for quite a while (I was still going to choir until 7.5 months pregnant) , which now seems ridiculous.

Sorry, rambly, love talking about pregnancy and babies. Very very delighted for you.

[juliet]

Mm, cheese (10 years vegan & I still kind of miss cheese!) :) I haven't had any particular cravings (at least not for anything I wouldn't normally happily eat by the truckload e.g. salt & pepper tofu), but it does nevertheless feel somewhat parasitical! And certainly odd to be conscious of sharing my body with another being!

I'm not seeing any particular pattern to movements yet (except maybe in the evening after dinner, but that might just be because I'm more likely to be sitting quietly & thus to notice), but it's v early days -- I gather that at 18-19 weeks a lot of women (especially for a first pregnancy) won't have felt anything at all. Am hoping that I'll get off lightly on the being-poked-in-the-internal-organs stakes later on compared to e.g. angelmine due to being a bit taller (& in particular, taller in the body), but I fear that it won't help all that much!

I am callous & don't care if the foetus is enjoying the music: I AM IN CHARGE OF THIS BODY RIGHT NOW; DEAL WITH IT. ;) Although am very pleased to be able to expose zir to Billy Bragg in utero! (Anyway, zie's going to have to deal with both psytrance & random leftie singer-songwriters once out in the world, too, given my music collection, so best to get a head start...)

And thank you!

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

I'm given to understand that the nausea/sickness for the first few months is quite normal, if rotten at the time. Glad you're past the worst of that now, and hope the rest of the pregnancy is more comfortable and uneventful! Hope to see you at the weekend.

[juliet]

Oh, yeah, it's 'normal' (and indeed felt to be a good sign that the embryo is settling in well etc etc. THANKS THERE EMBRYO). But still highly unpleasant.

[ailbhe]

I didn't worry until I had PTSD. My first pregnancy was basically bliss on a nausea platter.

[drdoug.livejournal.com]

Yay moving foetus! That's very cool.

Thanks for posting this - lovely to hear how things are going on. Definitely a top idea to get them attuned to your tastes in music at this stage. My theory is that sounds they get used to in utero is what they find soothing once out, so playing stuff you like now and can play to soothe a fretful infant easily is a very good plan. Also a very convenient one, and convenience is great.

The much less slack in the system is a very familiar feeling. And if my experience is anything to go by, gets considerably worse before it gets better.

[juliet]

I have heard Scientific Suggestion (can't remember if it was actually, y'know, *science* proper) to back up your theory, so I too am working on that premise. (I will make a mental note that if all else fails, we can try taking the baby out to some psytrance squat party or other. Um.)

Hopefully if I get myself in the habit of looking after myself *now*, this might last through the more-difficult stage, when it is less easy to do so...

[brightybot.livejournal.com]

Glad you've recovered from the sickness, and also that you're not worrying about things. All good. By the way, if there is a class near you ante natal yoga is really great for destressing and for learning breathing techniques that will help you in labour.

[juliet]

I am off to my first yoga class tomorrow, in fact! There's one just down the road which is v convenient. angelmine was v enthusiastic about her antenatal yoga, too.

[menthe-reglisse.livejournal.com]

I didn't worry much during either of my pregnancies. I mean, I worried a bit, but only to a degree entirely appropriate to the amount of New Unknown Life-changing Stuff I was going through. Certainly no more than I usually worry about stuff. But then, I have long known that I am a thoroughly unnatural mother in many respects, so that may also be the case for you.

Glad you are over the nauseous stage. No fun. Hope the next few months are entirely uneventful and nice.

Both times some days after giving birth I imagined that I felt the baby moving and then realised that I couldn't possibly be because they were no longer inside me. See, I told you I was an unnatural mother.

[jvvw.livejournal.com]

Glad the morning sickness has passed - think that phase is made all the more worse by happening at the point where you don't want to announce to the world that you are pregnant.

I don't recall worrying much during my pregnancy but maybe I did and have blanked it out - pregnancy seems in such the dim and distant past now and so unlike actually having a baby that I almost find it hard to associate the two. Trying to avoid stress during pregnancy as far as I can make out is by far and away the most important thing you can do during pregnancy for your future baby, so definitely good not to be worrying!

If you don't already, make sure you know how to help avoid SPD as it also definitely falls into the not fun category.

[juliet]

Thanks for the SPD tip! Happily it looks like I already do most of the recommended stuff, partly because of long-standing hip & knee problems (core muscles are suffering a bit from, y'know, having a FOETUS & associated support systems causing them to stretch unduly, but at least they started off OK). I should take myself off for preventative osteopathy soon, actually, as well (not specifically for that, but generally for long-standing hip issues).